I will be quick.
Today, I was reflecting on the month that has been, and trying to make some understanding of it all. I keep saying it feels like something big is coming, but it’s too cloudy to see what it is. Or something like that. I still feel that way. So I decided to try something different: Step back and try and see the whole picture, not just analyse details like I always do.
I remembered a few weeks ago I saw not one Dog, but two Dog. Dog is an omen, a harbinger. But what of two Dog? I was confused. Did it mean love? Did it mean exceptionally good luck? Did it mean anything at all? Or was it bad luck? I didn’t get it, so I ignored it.
Upon reflection today though, I realise there’s no rule saying I only have one fate. Sure, it’s probably all superstitious nonsense, but whether it is or isn’t, who’s to say I only have a fate in regards to one thing?
I mean, regarding finding love and all that, I know I’ll have to sit back a bit and just be the best person I can be in the interim, because if I keep doing what I am doing I’ll be fine. I firmly believe that. I must! If there is a fate, I’m obviously on the right path (but to where?); if there isn’t, such actions should carve my own. But even then, what if there was something else, something else in store for me that didn’t involve love – something else? Hm. It’s an interesting hypothetical scenario and again, there’s little I can do.
Well, the last few days have been quite shitty. Fortunately, when it came down to it, I don’t know if I’ve lost as much as I thought I might. It’s easy to look at things though and see them as being worse than they are. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve had a bad day. Things have gone wrong. I’ve done the right thing, but it’s one of those days where it doesn’t count for much and regardless of what you do, you lose. We’re not talking about money or anything transient like that, we’re talking about close friends. So because of that, out of respect, I will say no more than I am hurt because of a violation of the bro code. Guys do not let girls get between friends. It’s just not on.
At the moment consequently I’m in quite a dark place, but honestly, I’ve survived worse. I haven’t got much to lose at this point, and that basically means I have nothing to be afraid of. Trust me, when I’m in that position, I am very, very strong. I get many things done and I don’t get knocked down. Just be glad I’m a nice guy with a strong ethical and moral code, and I would never use this ‘mode’ to hurt people.
And to be honest I saw this coming. I just saw it coming from an entirely different direction. I knew there would be a loss at some point very soon, I even told people this. I just…completely mispredicted what the loss would be.
Dog at its best/worst.
I haven’t posted for the last few days due to lack of time, basically. And right now it’s too hard to explain it all, so I’ll just say it’s been ups and downs. It’s been testing.
Today once again I was locked in the small room with only my thoughts, expecting the worst. Expecting self-destructive stuff. Except it was actually quite nice.
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I have plenty to write about, but no time…please be patient.
Today has been a nice day. Not much more to say. Okay, the pedestrians were very rude. On days like today I wish it was legal for responsible citizens like myself to have a Taser to clear the path with! But no.
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Not much to say about Tuesday, perhaps. But I will try. I know some people are very interested in reading this, and I wonder if anyone is interested into what I’m really thinking, as opposed to what I say. This is pretty much as close as you’ll get without asking, after all.
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I’ve been stuck in a bit of a dilemma for the past few days, trying to figure out a solution to a problem.
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Dear diary,
Today at work I was shut inside a small room.
There was an exciting e-mail about a dripping tap.
A butterfly stalked me for a good ten minutes, fluttering by every window I passed, regardless of floor. I waved to it, but I’m not sure if it waved back.
Oh, and there was a cardboard box!
And I saw a cockatoo! How amazing, Diary!
(but seriously; a boring day, but I enjoyed it.)
Can’t sleep. Fortunately, I said I’d write the story of how I met my ex. As I remember it. I’m a man of my word. It’ll be brief.
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